Just when I thought I’d heard it all…leave it up to R. Kelly to take ignorant lyrics to new and previously unimaginable heights. His latest CD, Untitled is your standard R. Kelly CD that covers topics such as booty, sex, clubs, booty, liquor etc. I’m not knocking that…everything has it’s place and to be honest I actually like the CD. What? Don’t look at me like that! Only God can judge me. Initially when I downloaded Untitled and looked at the track titles nothing really stood out to me…
…that is until I saw the last song titled “Pregnant“. Hmmm…not one to past immediate judgment, I thought this could be a song talking about how wonderful it is to be an expecting mother or father, or perhaps how beautiful and attractive a woman can be to a man when she’s carrying his child. I know it’s R. Kelly we’re talking about, but it isn’t a far-fetched idea that he could write a song like that. My curiosity only increased when I saw that he had recruited Tyrese, Robin Thicke and The-Dream to join him on this song. Well…I listened to it and it wasn’t the beautiful ode to pregnant women that I thought it would be.
Seeing as this is Kelly’s song and he had the privilege of providing us with two verses, I decided to focus on just his verses…
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, knock you up
(1st Verse)
Now usually I leave the club with a girl who has a man,
And take her to the hotel for just a one night stand,
See I’m a playa so I ain’t tryna take her on no dates,
But much like my patron, man I’m just tryna take it straight,
Until I met this girl in the club with an unbelievable booty,
The sweetest girl in the world to me and on top of that she’s a cutie,
I ain’t seen nothing like her around here in a while,
And if I had a girl she’d be the one to bare my child,
Telling myself I’m a playa so I keep tryna shake it off,
But I keep on seeing this big old house with a picket fence and a dog,
Never felt nothing like this,
She’s more than a mistress
I’m bout to handle my business,
and put that girl in my kitchen,
(Chorus)
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, knock you up,
(5th Verse, R. Kelly’s 2nd)
Take you out to eat uh uh,
Wined and dined uh uh,
Shopping spree uh uh,
Sexing me uh huh,
See I’m not cheap, or selfish babe,
Girl I’m just thirsty for that booty babe,
It’s all you fault, baby you look good,
It’s all your fault, that it feels like wood,
And you look so bored up in this club so let’s go,
We can hop in Lamborghini roll to my big home,
Bay-eh-eh-eh-aby,
Let’s go crazy,
Let’s make a,
Little Kelly,
Baby I got goodies and I want you to have some,
All I ask is you let me explore your secret garden
*tear drop* Now that was beautiful. So beautiful that I’m sure somewhere in urban America some young couple will get married to this song. I can see it now…a clear summer day, the sun is shining and the pigeons are chirping as Mercedes Lexi “Da Baddest Bitch” Williams walks down the aisle in a stunning “Goochi” wedding dress while this song plays softly in the background. Mercedes’ 2 year old daughter will be joyously throwing barbecue sunflower seeds as her mama and soon-to-be step daddy are announced Mr. & Mrs. Delontay “9 Milli” Jenkins.
Okay, seriously? This was too easy. So in summary, this song is about him being out in a club Nitro and seeing a high school junior woman with an unbelievable booty….a booty so astounding that he envisions him and this woman living in a house with a picket fence and a dog. Even further, he’s then compelled to offer her…not a nice dinner, not a shopping spree, but a “Little Kelly” by asking her to go home with him so he can get her pregnant.
The End.
Sounds like an animated Disney movie in the making doesn’t it? You know what, I’m not even using Dylans for this one. In honor of Mr. Kelly’s love for human waste this song gets a 5-urinal rating…
…for providing us with pissy lyrics and promoting the idea that pregnancy is some sort trivial circumstance that’s warranted by the sight of an unbelievable ass. Okay maybe that’s a little harsh, I’m sure that this song was just made as entertainment for adults who should know better. But then again, The Maury Povich Show tells me that unfortunately, there are some “adults” out here that really don’t know any better. Okay, I’m signing off…btw I’ll bring back the Dylan rating system in the next Spit Hot Fire post.
Doza said 