Keri Hilson Covers Complex…

I know I’m late, but I couldn’t just disregard a Keri Hilson cover. Anyway my future baby mama is in the August/September issue of Complex magazine talkin’ about blah, blah, blah, blah. Movin’ on….yall already know how I feel about Ms. Hilson, if only I could’ve been the grease guy for the photo shoot. You know…the guy who got to rub vegetable oil all over Keri’s body in-between shots. *sigh*

See Keri’s the type of woman I’d use good vegetable oil on. Nope, no Jewel, Kroger or Safeway store brand vegetable oil for her. She deserves the best…like Wesson or hell even Rachel Ray Extra Virgin Olive Oil, that’s only if the mood is right though. Oh well, just to show her how sincere I am about me and her being together (and how classy I am), I’d like to dedicate THIS SONG to Ms. Keri Hilson.

Couple pics and a quick behind the scenes video of the photo shoot after the jump…

I Wanna Be A Backup Dancer…

….especially if I get to do shit like this.
This is pure bullshit! Those four five years I spent in college getting a piece of toilet paper degree, I should’ve been watchin’ hip-hop dance tapes, perfecting my moves. Instead of sweating over final exams, I should’ve been in the clubs sweating…from servin’ dance challengers all night.

I mean seriously, fellas imagine getting paid to grind Ms. Hilson like that. I’d do that shit for free. Well, I do need food and shelter, so free would be a bad idea. Okay, I’d do it for turkey subs and rent money…but I’m sure that’s a hell of lot less than what he’s gettin’ paid. That’s it! I’m ordering Darrin’s Dance Grooves asap…

In the end, it really doesn’t matter because Ms. Hilson would probably fire me after the first show. Something tells me that getting buc ass naked and humpin’ her like a dog in heat while she’s in that position on stage would probably lead to my termination…