If George Bush Hates Black People…

…you’re not doing anything to change his mind Kanye.

If you happened to have caught MTV’s Video Music Awards last night, then you witnessed Kanye’s most ignorant award show spaz moment to date. If you missed it, here’s what happened…

*updated video at the end of the post*

This isn’t the first time Mr. West has been to an award show and acted like a spoiled lil’ rich bitch who’s just been told she won’t be getting a Range Rover for her birthday on an episode of MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. He’s known for his childish reactions to award show winners, but this time takes the cake for a few reasons…

1.) This Had Everything To Do With You…
Okay, not so much. Last time I checked Beyonce, Daddy Knowles & Mr. Carter all had voices. If any of them felt as though Beyonce was slighted I’m sure they were more than capable of voicing their opinions. I don’t agree with him spazzin’ out about awards that he doesn’t win, but at least it’s regarding his feelings about his own hard work.

2.) Beyonce’s Soooo Underrated…
Thanks Kanye. Lord knows Beyonce’s been on the music scene for years and she’s yet to receive any sort of recognition for her talent.

Good Job sticking up for the little person. GTFOH, I don’t think there’s one person on this Earth who felt sorry for Beyonce when she didn’t win that award. Nobody was sitting around going, “Awww that’s bullshit…Beyonce never wins anything!!!” Trust me when I say, Beyonce was not going to lose any sleep over not winning that metallic astronaut. Beyonce knows that she has the game on lock. Just go to a club and watch all of the women’s reaction when a Beyonce song comes on.

3.) Spazzin’ On Taylor Swift…Now That’s Gangsta…
The one thing that I’ve noticed about Kanye and his award show antics/comments is that he only disrespects people that he knows won’t beat his ass. Gretchen Wilson (2004 American Music Awards), Justice vs. Simian (2006 Europe Music Awards) and now Taylor Swift have all felt the toddler like wrath of Mr. West. But we’ve yet to see him run up on 50 Cent, Flo-rida, Rick Ross or anybody else that would potentially slap the shit out of him. Hell, I don’t think he would’ve done that shit to Pink. He could’ve ran up on Pink if he wanted to…she would’ve beat the leather shirt off his ass. That just goes to show he’s fully aware and selective about what he says and does…so I don’t even want to hear that “blame it on the alcohol” bullshit.

4.) “George Bush Hates Black People”…
Well Mr. West if every one of us had the same amount of class and maturity that you tend to display at award shows….it’s understandable. Fortunately, that’s not the case, but I’ll be damn if you don’t give him and any other person outside of our race the ammunition they need to send racist shots our way…it’s called coonery.

Well, in Kanye’s defense he did post what I guess he feels like is an apology…
“I’m not crazy yall. I’m just real” WTF!?! Since when did being real equate to being rude, ignorant and completely classless?

Yeah, you’re real Ye’….a real asshole. But then again, at least you didn’t do this…

I Respect A Woman…

…but this B!#ch is crazy.

Okay, so about a month ago Kelis was awarded $55,000 per month in child and spousal support from Nas. Remember how everybody thought that was just ridiculous? Well in the words of Sticky Fingaz “But, but, but, but wait it gets worse!” Last week it was revealed that court documents were recently filed by Kelis’ team of lawyers, in which they reviewed the earnings of both Nas and Kelis and decided that Nas should just remove his balls and hand them over to Kelis.

Oh yeah, they also pulled a ton of numbers out of their ass and determined the following…

1.) Nas pulls in $244,826 a month.
How I don’t know…tour money must be the ish. Btw he sucked at the Rocked The Bells tour here in Chicago…I literally fell asleep for a few minutes during his performance.

2.) Kelis pulls in $13,744 a month.
How I don’t know…no seriously…..I’m really trying to figure out how.

3.) Kelis should get child support totaling $17,225 a month.
Huh!?! It’s a fuckin’ baby! I’m a grown ass man and I don’t need that much money per month to survive…if I did I would’ve been dead a long time ago because I damn sure don’t make it.

4.) Kelis should get spousal support totaling $72,728.
No, Kelis should get a fuckin’ job. You greedy low down dirty stank ass B!#ch. That is all.

5.) Nas should pay retro child support totaling $29,522.
Okay this is just getting stupid. The child was just born a few months ago…he doesn’t even eat solid food yet!! His diet consist of milk. Fuckin’ milk…maybe some apple sauce or other saucy form of baby food.

6.) Nas should pay retro spousal support totaling $281,571.
Now at this point she needs to hire some serious security. She’s just crossed into the “I might as well kill this B!#ch” zone. I’m sure Nas is pricing out hitman right now. Damn near $300,000 in retro spousal support!?! He could have her professionally killed 3 times for that amount of money….not that I would support that.

Oh well, I guess you can add this to Kelis’ playlist…
Calloway – I Wanna Be Rich
I’m sure this is the song that plays when her alarm clock goes off every morning.

Rappers Should Stay Away From Britain…

…because the British police force is asking its citizens to report anyone that’s wearing too much ‘bling’ during the recession.

They’re also urging people to report anyone driving an expensive car and/or purchasing expensive items without the apparent means to afford them. This is all in an effort to spot individuals who are acquiring their wealth from illegal activities.

The campaign, titled ‘Too Much Bling? Give Us a Ring’ was launched yesterday.

Gloucestershire’s Chief constable Dr. Timothy Brain said:

“In the current time of financial uncertainty, those who live a lavish lifestyle with no discernable, legitimate income become even more apparent.”

Here are the masterminds behind this…

Lazy fuckers.

This has got to be the dumbest shit ever. I mean really, whatever happened to catching criminals the good ol’ fashion way? Through investigations, interrogations, surveillance, informants, umm…you know actual police work. Doesn’t this fall under some type of profiling? I can only imagine the type of harassment that people are about to face based on the jewelry (fake and real) they’re wearing or the kind of car of they’re driving.

While most rappers should be okay over in Britain, there’s a few that would be shot on sight…


Walking around with all that (fake) shit on, they would think they were involved in every conceivable type of illegal activity. Busta and Gucci Mane, both look like a modern day Junebug from “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka“.

Oprah’s 2-Piece…

Everybody’s feeling the recession in one way or another, so on Tuesday Oprah decided to post a downloadable coupon on her site for…(wait for it)…(wait for it)…Free Chicken!!!

The coupon, which was available for download for a limited time, is good for a 2-piece grilled chicken meal from KFC and expires after May 19th.

So what’s the problem?

Well for starters her site was so overwhelmed with visits and downloads that many chicken lovers were unable to download their free ticket to the savory salvation of 12 herbs and spices. Then of course there were quite a few KFCs that weren’t honoring the coupons or had simply stopped honoring them at a certain point. All of this lead to over 5700 comments being posted on Oprah’s “free chicken page“, from both happy and politely unhappy chicken lovers. There have even been reports of “sit-ins” at certain KFC’s that aren’t honoring the coupon. I would call bullshit on these reported “sit-ins”, but after the recent Popeye’s promotion it’s not unbelievable.

Btw, did you know that Oprah received the “Person of the Year” award from PETA last year?

That’s funny because KFC sources its chicken from Tyson, which uses controlled animal feeding operations which are dark and tightly-packed coops where the chickens are often unable to stand up or move. She even did a special last year on the hazards of factory farming which is still up on her site.

Good lookin’ Harpo.

Question: Am I missing something? WTF is going on with all of these chicken giveaways/promotions?

This Only Promotes The Stereotype…

Sooooo…Popeyes had a special last Wednesday for Earth Day, 8 pieces of chicken for $4.99. Many locations ran out of chicken….all hell broke loose as a result.


Memorable Quotes:
“We can’t feed our kids?….because yall didn’t order enough chicken…”
“It’s very disappointing, I wanted some chicken today.”
“They should’ve had a stockpile of chicken for this day.”
“They should’ve had a tractor trailer out back….with extra chicken….on ice.”
“I was trying to feed my family tonight. I can’t get that bucket in now.”

*sigh*

Thanks a lot ABC. Why would you as a Black person sit up there and do an interview for this?

Side Note: The real question is wtf does Popeye’s chicken have to do with Earth Day?

People Who Made More Money…

…than me & you last year were recently profiled in Parade magazine’s annual “What People Earn” issue. The people they profiled were pretty random…

Beyoncé – $80 million
If she keeps on acting instead of singing this number will decrease significantly. ..

The trailer for Obsessed looks terrible (at least the scenes with Mrs. Fierce). I swear I’ve shitted turds with better acting skills than Sasha Fierce. Okay, not so much…but watching her act is like going to watch a 2nd grade play. It’s terrible, kids are fuckin up lines left and right, they sound like they’re reading their lines right off a piece of paper for the first time and they make it blatantly obvious when the script instructs them to “act” sad, angry or happy. Despite all of that, everyone claps and cheers when its over because they’re just kids….and with time they may get better.

Well, Sasha’s not a kid….she’s 27. She’s not in the 2nd grade. I’m not clapping. I’m not cheering…and with time she won’t get better.

Will Ferrell – $31 million
He deserves every penny…this man is hilarious. Old School, Anchorman, Semi-Pro, Step Brothers….me and my brothers quote his movies religiously…it’s like damn cult. Shout out to Jay, D, Tense, Reese & Red.

Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger – $100,000
Name doesn’t ring a bell? Well, as much as I love G.I. Joes, Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger is a Real American Hero. He’s the pilot that safely landed a fuckin Airbus A320 on the Hudson River in New York and did it better than 90% of the drivers in the America parallel park.

Btw, this was the first time in about 50 years that a major aircraft crash-landed in the water and every passenger on board made it out alive.

Jennifer Aniston – $27 million
How?!?!?…WTF did she do last year besides make Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt voodoo dolls? Oh, she made the movie Marley & Me. Again…wtf did she do last year?

Tina Fey – $4.6 million
This is an obvious sign that the planets aren’t aligned. Tina Fey is 10x > Jennifer Aniston on any given day, yet Jen made more money than her.

Tyler Perry – $125 million
I’m not a big fan of his movies….okay, I’m not a fan of his movies at all. But I respect the brother because he’s the epitome of making something out of nothing. He overcame abuse, saved up $12,000 to put on his first play and even after dropping out of high school at 16, he was smart enough to just get a distribution deal with Lionsgate Entertainment so he retains full ownership of his movies.

Rob “Nino Brown” Blagojevich – $177,400 (legally)
He still got it 4 cheap…if you’re looking for beige and green and the diesel….or just a Senate seat. Blago’s theme song in 4, 3, 2,……

Sarah Palin – $125,000
*Sigh* Why?
She can see Russia from her house in Alaska and she thinks the Earth was created 6,000 yrs ago and both, men and dinosaurs, coexisted. For those of you who don’t see anything wrong with that timeline let me educate you…

The Earth and the other planets in our solar system were formed about 4.54 billion years ago. Dinosaurs became extinct 65 million years ago. The genus which humans are part of is estimated to be about 2.5 million years old, while modern humans are believed to have evolved between 400,000 and 200,000 years ago.

This is just disrespectful to Dinosaurs….and I like Dinosaurs. If I ever meet Sarah Palin I’m gonna punch her in the throat like I’m Liam Neeson in Taken.

Tiger Woods – $110 million
Tiger’s a beast on the course but damn, he barely played last year. He spent most of the year rehabbing from knee surgery. You try spending 3/4 of the year off of work for knee surgery recovery and see what your income looks like.

Tiger’s endorsement deals > FMLA

Michael Bloomberg – $1
Yeah you read it right….a dollar for the whole year of 2008 to be Mayor of New York city. Imagine going to your current job everyday and only making one dollar a year. You can’t even fathom it can you?

Why?

It’s probably because you don’t like your job enough to just get paid one dollar a year…or it could be because you don’t have a net worth of around $20 Billion. It’s probably both.

Ever heard of Bloomberg L.P.? It’s a financial software, news and data company and it’s big, really big. Ummm…it’s no coincidence that the company’s name is the same as his.

8 Babies, 1 Woman…

I’m sure by now you’ve heard of the psychopath, Nadya Suleman, who impregnated herself with 8 babies via in vitro fertilization and recently gave birth via c-section (obviously).

Well, if you’re curious to see what it looks like to walk around with 8 babies in your stomach…

You couldn’t have paid me enough to slice that shit open…it looks like she got knocked up by an alien. Sooo is it me or is it about time for a little regulation regarding in vitro fertilization?

When Keeping It Real Stupid Goes Wrong…

In Chicago, after Obama was announced the winner of the Presidential Election, police responded to a crowd of people celebrating Obama’s win on the corner of 69th Street and Western Avenue. Celita Hart, 19, who is black, yelled ” ‘White B*tch, F*ck McCain–you white police can’t do nothing anymore.’” With that, she reached through the window of a squad car and slapped a white male officer in the face, according to Assistant State’s Atty. Lorraine Scaduto.

Hart who resides on the 7100 block of South Rockwell Street, was charged with aggravated battery of a police officer and was ordered her held in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Apparently her dumb ass forgot that despite the fact that Obama won the election, police can still arrest people.

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