Random Pic: Kelly ‘s Wig + Elmer’s Glue =

*sigh* Look, I know Kelly Rowland doesn’t have as much money as Beyonce, but I know she can afford to buy a damn mirror. *Tries to remember the name of Kelly Rowland’s last single* Okay maybe she can’t, but this is where having a real friend comes into play, because they wouldn’t let her leave the house with that shit on her head.

What?

You can’t sit here and tell me that Kelly Rowland doesn’t have enough money to buy a mirror and on top of that, she doesn’t have one real friend. I mean c’mon. That’s like being part of one of the most successful female R&B groups ever, then having your best friend who happens to be the lead singer leave you behind to pursue a solo career, while you make music that deaf people don’t even wanna listen to. *tumbleweeds* *random cough*

Can you ladies please explain to me, what in the hell is the fascination with spending a shitload of money on fake ass hair that looks worse than your real hair? Where did this lacefront shit come from? I mean you can clearly see the glue outline…she might as well had used office tape. Seriously, what would you think if you saw a guy with his hair taped on his damn head?

…see how stupid that shit looks.

*sigh* Since they didn’t make one for women with terrible wigs I guess this will have to do…

Mr. Really Bad Toupe’ Wearer

Just take everything they’re saying and apply it to women wearing these busted ass weaves and wigs. Btw I miss those Real Men of Genius/Real American Heroes commercials by Bud Light.

Random Pic: Kanye & Amber Rose Support PETA…

…that’s why they went fur crazy during fashion week over in Paris.

No but seriously, I’m about 2,000,000% sure (word to Maury Povich) that those coats aren’t made out of animal fur. So before PETA gets their hypocritical panties in a bunch and start throwing paint on Mr. West and his Rose, I suggest they do a bit of research. I don’t think any animals were harmed or killed in making of those coats. I mean let’s not jump to conclusions here…I’m guessing that those coats are either fake or they’re made out of…

…Monique’s fur.

After seeing her legs it may be up for debate as to whether she’s an animal, but one thing is certain…she’s alive and doesn’t appear to have been harmed in any way. You can find her every night on BET screaming for no apparent reason. See there PETA….we can all take a deep breath and relax.

Btw if her legs are that damn hairy, I’m nauseous at the thought of what other parts of her body look like. Yep….just threw up a lil’ bit in my mouth.

Movin’ on, I’d like to dedicate the following to Mr. West…
Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer

Random Pic: The Top of Birdman’s Head…

Quick question…when did everybody become Bloods?

Did they just have like a huge write-in ceremony for rappers? If I was a “real” Blood I would be beyond pissed. I mean this shit has become a fad…kind of like towel coats, Pokemon and skinny jeans. I swear these rappers remind me of the lames that used to claim gangs back in college. As soon as they paid that 40 cent toll, they’d turn their hat to left or right. I guess they figured since they were 60 miles from the city they were free to claim whatever gang they wanted to without any repercussions. Don’t get me wrong, gangs in general are just stupid….but claimin’ a gang on a college campus, within a 100 meters of a cornfield should call for the donation of your body to science….while your still alive.

Jim Jones, Lil’ Wayne, Birdman and a lot of these other rappers must’ve forgot that they’ve been around for quite some time. If they came in the rap game hollering “Blood this, soo woo that” it would be a different story. But these clowns just started doing this whole “Blood” thing a couple of years ago. Well I guess when you’re touring the country, living in multi-million dollar suburban homes and driving luxury cars, you’re left with no choice but to turn to the harsh realities of gang life.

Well, if you’re interested in hearing what the Birdman has to say about Wayne’s upcoming jail sentence, Drake’s future, his own rap career and how Cash Money compares to other rap labels click here.

Side Note: I don’t know who’s going to get the dumbest tattoo of the year award, but it’s definitely between Baby and Jermaine “Master Splinter” Dupri.

These Are The Gangsta Killers…

…according to an article in GQ’s upcoming Man of the Year issue. Supposedly, Wale, Drake and KiD CuDi are responsible for killing gangsta rap and as a result, they’ve been named “the Gangsta Killers”. Well, I’m going to have to disagree….for 2 reasons:

1.) Gangsta rap isn’t dead. Maybe in the sense of N.W.A. “F**k The Police” it’s dead, but it’s still around. It’s just not getting as much shine as this whole tight, nut-huggin’ pants wearing hipster fad that’s going on right now.

2.) If gangsta rap was dead, these guys wouldn’t be the murderers. Kanye West & Lupe Fiasco birthed a lot of these new cats. Yeah I know there were others who influenced them, but those two played major roles in shaping their styles.

If you want to read the paragraph that GQ wrote about the “Gangsta Killers” go and buy the magazine…the “article” was garbage.

Side Note:
I rock with Drake, but isn’t that the jacket Vin Diesel had on in XXX? Nope, I think I got it…

…it’s the same jacket Akbar aka Wolf had on in The Education of Sonny Carson.

Random Pic: Lauren London…

…was at Diddy’s 4th of July White Party looking all fine…and plump. Remember that rumor about her being pregnant by Lil’ Wayne? At this point I think it’s safe to say that she’s pregnant…now whether or not it’s Wayne’s still hasn’t been confirmed. But where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire so chances are that’s Weezy F Baby’s lovechild.

I’m blown because despite the fact that Lil’ Wayne looks like a mogwai that was fed at 12:01am and had a gallon of spring water poured all over him, he was still able to hit Lauren London. Which means that any guy with a face had a good chance of gettin’ with New New.

Oh yeah, I almost almost forgot…Wayne’s rich and famous, so that probably had a lil’ somethin’ to do with it.

I Hope This Isn’t A Trend…

…that’s about to start.
First guys started walkin‘ around with half-ass mohawks and now this. Are people really this bored?

Then again, like Cassie, La La might’ve lost a bet too. She probably bet somebody that Melo and the Nuggets would beat the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. If they lost…she would have to shave half of her hair off and sell her pink Range Rover on eBay. Well, we obviously know how that turned out.

But then again, she could just be a huge fan of Cassie’s music (how I don’t know) and is mimicking her every move as a result. That’s great if that’s the case, because now I’m expecting you someone to leak pics of you naked. I’m not saying this because I want to see you naked (though I definitely wouldn’t mind). It’s just that if you truly are a huge fan of Cassie, then why not strive to the best fan you can be. Simply put, I want you to be happy. So if following in Cassie’s footsteps and shaving half of your head and releasing photos of yourself buc ass naked is what’s gonna bring a smile to your face, who am I to stand in your way?

Best of luck…I know you can do it.

A Night To Remember…

..is the cliche that is often used as the them for high school proms. Well prom season has come to an end and teenagers across the country now have memories, both good and bad, that will last them a lifetime.

But with outfits like these, how could their prom nights be anything but memorable?

You might’ve seen these floatin’ around on the net, these pics are from two different proms, one last year and one this year….

Nothing says class like a prison pose. “We gettin’ money niccah!”

“I want to wear somethin’ classy and comfortable for prom…hmmmm. I got it! Can you make me a jogging suit…a really classy jogging suit, with these colors.”

Female Wrestler?

“Let’s just go to prom together girl….and don’t worry my sister can make our dresses. She in school for fashion design.”

This little boy has absolutely no idea what the hell is goin’ on, look at his face…he’s probably thinkin’ “Why the fuck am I here!? I’m like 13 years early!”

“I swear I came up with the jogging suit idea first…haters!”

The family that proms together, stays together.

Is that a Playboy handbag in the background?

This is too easy…no comment.

I’m really at a loss for words.

I give up.

Jamie Foxx Is…

…one lucky bastard.

Halle Berry decided to make me extremely jealous of Jamie Foxx at the Spike TV’s 2009 “Guys Choice Awards” Saturday night. She kissed him, grabbed his crotch and let him palm her tight ass….shoot me…please. If that was me I would’ve had to walk right off stage directly afterwards….facing the audience, side stepping the whole way. If I would’ve turned sideways I would’ve gotten fined by the FCC like Janet did for the whole Superbowl titty thing. Why? Let’s just say they haven’t made a pair of underwear or jeans that would’ve been strong enough to hold back my excitement.

Jamie Foxx and Keri Hilson’s backup dancer are very Zen like creatures…kind of like Black Buddhas. It’s quite fascinating. How do they control themselves in these situations? Do you see where Halle’s hand is at? That right there would’ve made me forget we were at an awards show. I would’ve immediately thought we were back at my place, in my bedroom, with “Blame It” playing in the background, candles burning, maple syrup everywhere, video camera recording….

*Sigh*

More pics after the jump.




Oh yeah, I like to dedicate this video to Ms. Berry.

I Wanna Be A Backup Dancer…

….especially if I get to do shit like this.
This is pure bullshit! Those four five years I spent in college getting a piece of toilet paper degree, I should’ve been watchin’ hip-hop dance tapes, perfecting my moves. Instead of sweating over final exams, I should’ve been in the clubs sweating…from servin’ dance challengers all night.

I mean seriously, fellas imagine getting paid to grind Ms. Hilson like that. I’d do that shit for free. Well, I do need food and shelter, so free would be a bad idea. Okay, I’d do it for turkey subs and rent money…but I’m sure that’s a hell of lot less than what he’s gettin’ paid. That’s it! I’m ordering Darrin’s Dance Grooves asap…

In the end, it really doesn’t matter because Ms. Hilson would probably fire me after the first show. Something tells me that getting buc ass naked and humpin’ her like a dog in heat while she’s in that position on stage would probably lead to my termination…

Wheelchair Jimmy…

…is on a roll….with the ladies. I don’t know when or where this pic was taken, but it doesn’t look like it’s that old.

The girl in the pic is Teyana Taylor, who’s mostly known for being on an episode of MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. Her name still doesn’t ring a bell, huh? Well she released the appropriately titled song/video called “Google Me” in anticipation that you would have no fuckin’ clue who she is. All in all, they could just be close friends, but I’m guessing they don’t call him “Heartbreak” Drake for nothin’.

Btw, click here to see how Jimmy became “Wheelchair” Jimmy.

There’s also a few more pics after the jump.