Every Little Girl?…

No this is not a post about R. Kelly, but if you happened to have wasted 3 hours of your life watching the BET awards this past Sunday, you probably caught the Young Money performance.

If you saw the performance and didn’t find it offensive and repulsive, please leave this site immediately. If you didn’t see it consider yourself lucky. Why? Well here’s what happened…

The performance starts with Drake sittin’ in a wheelchair on a stool (apparently he tore his ACL) all by himself on stage. He performs the first verse off of “Best I Ever Had”, then Lil’ Wayne and the rest of the Young Money crew come out as they transition into crew song “Every Girl”. So far so good huh?

Well during their performance a group of girls come out on stage, surround the rappers and began to dance. Sounds like an ordinary rap performance right? Well when I said “girls” I meant that shit literally. These weren’t scantily clad grown ass video vixens…these were like 10 yr old little girls with Hello Kitty t-shirts on.

Now you’re probably familiar with both of the previously mentioned songs, but just so you can understand why this wasn’t a good thing, I thought I’d point out a few lyrics from each one…

Drake – “Best I Ever Had”
“I be hittin’ all the spots you even know was there…”

“My shirt ain’t got no stripes but I can make that pussy whiiiiiistle…”

Lil’ Wayne – “Every Girl”
“I like a long haired thick redbone, open up her legs to filet mignon that pussy / I’m a get in and own that pussy / if she let me in, I’m a own that pussy / gone throw it back, bust it open like you pose to / girl I got that dope dick, now come here let me dope you…”

“But you can’t call me choosy / I’ll fuck the whole group, baby I’m a groupie…”

Oh, btw Drake was the only one who rapped the clean version.

Now at first I thought these were just random ass pre-teens that ran on stage and I was truly disgusted with the whole thing. But I made an assumption and I was dead wrong. I feel bad because I was really about to go in on Lil’ Wayne and his crew for subjecting random little girls to that type of music.

Well, it turns out that the girls weren’t random at all!!! One was Lil’ Wayne’s daughter Reginae (9), another was Tiny’s daughter Zonnique (12) and the others were their friends. Apparently, Wayne’s daughter was upset because she didn’t have the opportunity to come on stage with him when he accepted his award earlier. Wayne being the great father that he is, decided to make up for it by letting her join him on stage as him and his crew performed the uncensored version of their ode to women across the world…”I wish I could fuck every girl in the world”. Wayne only told his daughter that she could come on stage, but I think she took the whole “every girl” concept and ran with it, inviting the rest of the girls to join her.

So there you have it…it was all a big misunderstanding and Lil’ Wayne wins “Father of The Year”.

In all fairness, word is that Wayne is actually a good father and he’s very involved in Reginae’s life, which is somethin’ that can’t be said for a lot of fathers, whether they’re rappers or everyday Joe Smoes. But damn, talk about bad parenting skills….that was an extremely bad call on his part.

In other news, Drake signed with Young Money/Universal. If you care to read about it go here. No surprises there, but I gotta say I’m little disappointed. I was a fan of Drake’s music prior to his whole Lil’ Wayne/Young Money affiliation and I feel like he’s talented enough to the point where he can make his own lane…not ride in Wayne’s.

The Icon, The Legend, The King…

Hot Ham N Cheese – Nah B*@#h…

WARNING: The following video is NSFW as it contains offensive language and imagery..and it’s just ignorant. Btw the screenshot looks worst than it really is, there’s no nudity in this video.

*sigh*

Hot Ham N Cheese is a direct result of incest.

There’s so many things wrong with this, from his rap name (Hot Ham N Cheese) to the fact that a woman agreed to lay there with her legs wide open as Mr. Cheese sprayed Febreze and Raid in-between them. I’m rarely at a loss for words, but damn…

I’m gonna assume that this was meant to be a joke. I’m really hoping that’s the case because if it isn’t…God help us all.

It’s videos like this that make me feel like there should be more restrictions on who’s allowed to purchase video cameras. Potential buyers should be required to fill out an application where they would have to state their intended purpose for purchasing the camera. Then they should be subjected to a background check as well as a psychological evaluation.

New SA-RA, Drake, Nickelus F, Da Internz…

SA-RA – Beauty Dirty Ft. Erykah Badu
Ummm, to be honest I’m not a big fan of SA-RA but I know a lot of people that are so I figured I’d post this.

Drake – Think Good Thoughts Ft. Phonte & Elzhi
This is one of my favorite tracks off of Drake’s Comeback Season mixtape….the only thing new about this is Elzhi’s verse though.

Nickelus F – Mean It
This is off of Nickelus F & Portishead Present: R.A.R.E. (Reliving A Real Experience), dropping this Friday at OnSMASH. I fux wit it.

Da Internz – Wetter (Every Girl Parody)
I meant to add this to the video post the other day…oh well.

Slum Village – Remember The Classics Mixtape…

…is a kind of like an unofficial greatest hits collection.
If you’re a fan of Slum Village then chances are you have every single song on here. If you’re not a fan or you’re just not familiar with Slum Village, I advise you to download this and get familiar with one of the best and most under-rated groups in Hip-hop, Rap and Music.

Side Note: This is a mixtape and there’s a guy shouting all over damn near every song. It’s really annoying, but not completely unbearable…then again this is free, so that’s the price you pay…or don’t.

Link and tracklist after the jump.

Btw I got this from the FWMJ’s Rappers I Know.

Slum Village – Remember The Classics

He Got A Harvard Law Degree To Do This…

Yeah, that’s Dawson Alexander aka David Otunga aka Punk aka Jennifer Hudson’s Baby Daddy/Fiancé wrestling.

I’m confused…what does she see in this guy? I think it’s pretty obvious that this guy is nothing more than an down-low brother attention whore.

I can think of 5 reasons why she shouldn’t marry this guy.
5.) He was a contestant on I Love New York 2.
4.) He was nicknamed “Punk” on the show. (Hint)
3.) He looks like he gets his eyebrows done. (Hint)
2.) He likes to wrestle men. (Hint)
1.) He was a contestant on I Love New York 2, his nickname was “Punk”, he gets his eyebrows arched and likes to wrestle men.

Somebody tell Jennifer to holla at Star Jones about her ex-husband or Terry McMillan about her ex-husband….I’m sure they could give her some sound advice.

Throwback: Keith Sweat – Merry Go Round…

Keith Sweat is an anomaly…he is undoubtedly the most successful terrible singer ever.

It’s mind boggling how this man managed to become such an iconic R&B figure in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

Despite the fact he sounded like a Llama taking a very painful shit while using auto-tune, Keith’s love sick ballads and uptempo new jack songs propelled him to superstar status.

Keith is considered an R&B legend by many people because he (along with Teddy Riley who produced Keith’s debut album) helped establish the New Jack Swing sound in the late 80’s. All of Keith’s songs were created using a complex mixture of beggin’, cryin’, whinin’ and more beggin’. He’s quite possibly the worlds greatest beggar…I pray that he never goes broke and becomes homeless. Could you imagine his ass singin’ for change? He’d get rich real quick because most people would give him whatever they had on them just so he’d shut the fuck up.

Even with all of that said….I have damn near every Keith Sweat song ever made on my ipod. Okay not every song, more so his earlier stuff. Why? Well if you look and listen past the fact that he couldn’t sing worth a shit, Keith Sweat wrote some of the realest R&B songs ever. Real in the sense that you knew he was feelin’ every damn word he was singin’. Not to mention he revolutionized the art of beggin’. Dignity? Pride? Balls?…..all foreign words to Mr. Sweat. He simply didn’t give a fuck about tellin’ you how bad he was hurt…shit he has quite a few songs were I swear he had to be criying while he recorded them.

Most songwriters use their own personal experiences as a basis for their music and Keith was no exception. It’s pretty easy to see that the majority of Keith Sweat’s earlier songs were about one woman. I think she broke his heart so damn bad he used his first two albums (and lil’ bit of the third) to cry about the shit. The title of Keith’s songs pretty much spoke for themselves. If you take a look at some of songs off of Make It Last Forever and I’ll Give All My Love To You, he pretty much chronicles his failed relationship from the beginning to the end…

The Beginning
He saw a very attractive woman and immediately thought to himself “I Want Her“. He made several attempts to talk to her, using lame ass old man lines like “girl I bet I can ‘Make You Sweat’ “. To no one’s surprise he got rejected in a friendly way every time, to which he responded by saying “There You Go Tellin’ Me No Again“. Eventually she decided to give him a chance because he wore a lot of leather, had some cool sweaters and he looked like he could be a model for Pro-Line Comb-Thru Texturizer hair products. She gave him some ass and it was nothing short of amazing….so he fell in love to the point where he felt like “Nobody” could compare to her and he just wanted to “Make It Last Forever”. (Simp)

The Middle
They reached a point in the relationship where every few months they were breakin’ up. It seemed like they weren’t making any progress, just going in circles like a “Merry Go Round“. He started to wonder if she was is in love with him, like he was with her…..then he finally asked her “How Deep Is Your Love?” She told him it was deep and he asked for specifics. So she told him it was kiddie pool deep, not ocean deep and he started to think “Something Just Ain’t Right“.

The End
He discovered that his suspicions were correct and told her I “Knew That You Were Cheatin’” on me. Then he started crying and whining uncontrollably and asked her “Why Me Baby?” She gave him the infamous line “it’s not you, it’s me” then left. They went their separate ways and despite the lyin’ and the cheatin’ he still wanted her to “Come Back“. Time passed, he ran into her and realized that he wasn’t as over her as he thought. He couldn’t quite explain or understand why he felt the way he did, but he figured it was “Just One of Them Thangs” that he was gonna have to get use to.

See, I told his songs tell a story. Movin’ on…

I have say that the director made it very apparent that this song was called “Merry Go Round”. Unless you’re a merry-go-round collector, I refuse to believe that anybody has that many just placed randomly throughout their home. Oh, and the sax playin’ clown was just weird.

Keith Sweat – Merry Go Round

There’s a breakdown at the end of this song (on the album version) that they didn’t include in the video…

“Life is, Life is so, is so unfair
If you wanna play circus baby, I don`t wanna be your clown, girl
No, n-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, baby
I don`t want the sideshow to begin,
cause I don`t want you to let me in
Baby, sometimes people don`t understand
what they have until it`s gone
Some people don`t know somebody loves them
until it`s too late, baby”

*sigh* That’s some real ish right there…

Umm, btw no parts of this post were an autobiographical reference to any of my past, current or recent relationships. I mean why would I sit up here and turn a throwback Keith Sweat post into a heart wrenching, soul bearing, therapeutic blog session? It’s not like I’ve been listening to any of these songs and thinking that one of my relationships were loosely based on Keith Sweat’s greatest hits…that’s just silly………..isn’t it?

….now back to your regularly scheduled posts.

Christina Milian Is In MAXIM…

I’m glad to see Ms. Milian is lookin’ like her fine self again, because that whole blond hair and red lipstick look wasn’t hot at all. In the July issue of MAXIM she talks about her highly anticipated upcoming album Elope, strip clubs and her role in the straight-to-DVD film Bring It On 27: Fight to the Finish (why are they still making these?). When asked if she used the cheerleader outfit from Bring It On as a turn-on for her boyfriend she said…

“I haven’t brought home a cheerleading outfit. Other outfits, yes, like a maid costume: a cute apron with the mitts and a robe, too. It was red. It was really cute. I try a little bit of everything. I’m all about keeping the excitement in the relationship. That’s why I sing songs like “Dip It Low.” When I’m with somebody, I like to keep it exciting.”

Sounds good to me and I’m sure The-Dream is lovin’ it. But if I was him, I’d tell her to turn the whole role-playing thing up a notch and get real freaky naughty. I mean seriously test her acting skills, because the maid and the cheerleader roles probably come easy for her…she’s probably been both in real life. I’d wanna see her go outside the box and play a role she can’t relate to…something like a talented platinum selling R&B singer.

More pics of Ms. Milian after the jump.

Da Internz – Wetter (Every Girl Parody)…

I’m sure you’ve seen this by now and I try not post stuff that I feel everybody and their momma’s gonna post…but to hell with that. This ish is hilarious.

“Now you can drip wit it, now you can drop wit, or you can tippy tah on a runny kine wit it”

For those of you who don’t know or remember, that “tippy tah on a runny kine” line is from Pootie Tang. You know the dude who use to be on the Chris Rock Show? He even had his own (very terrible) movie…still don’t remember? Good, it’s probably best you don’t.

New Mario, Big Kuntry King, Gucci Mane, The Clipse…

I know I’ve been slackin’ on the posts lately, but things have been kind of hectic. Don’t worry I can’t stay away for too long…this whole bloggin’ thing is like an addiction after a while. Btw most of this stuff isn’t “brand new” but you’ll get over it…

Mario – Break Up Ft. Gucci Mane
This ish goes hard in the club…ummm I think. I’ve been legally intoxicated everytime I’ve heard it so go figure.

Big Kuntry King – I Do Feat. T.I. & Young Dro
Don’t know why…but this hasn’t blown up yet. Shout out to D for puttin’ me on to this.

Gucci Mane – I Think I Love Her
Don’t we all at one point?

The Clipse – I’m Good
It’s funny because about two weeks ago I couldn’t relate to the title of this song at all…I was the complete opposite. But I’ve never been the type to worry…things usually work out for the best. I still can’t relate to the ish they’re talkin about (I won’t be rollin’ down Lake Shore Drive in a Maserati anytime soon), but I can honestly say I’m good.