Archive for the ‘Entertainment News’ Category

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How Does It Feel…

March 10, 2010

…to get arrested for soliciting a $40 blowjob from an undercover cop posing as a prostitute? I have no clue…but the ladies’ man D’Angelo does.

I’m sure you’ve heard he was arrested this past weekend after allegedly offering a woman $40 for oral sex. Supposedly he was riding through the West Village at about 2:30am in a Range Rover with $12,000 in cash when he spotted what he thought was a prostitute.

SMH (no pun intended), there’s so many things wrong with this story. The only reason I posted this was because I wanted to point out how quickly things change. Not too long ago there were quite a few chicks that would’ve paid D’Angelo $40 to give him head, now look at him. I just don’t get it…despite the fact he looks like the R&B version of The Soloist I would still think he’d be able to get “free” head. Hell I’ve never had a hit single, a Grammy or a video where I’m showing off my (non-existent) six pack while standing on a giant turntable covered in Crisco and I don’t even have to pay for head…go figure.

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Lloyd Banks Is All About Peace …

January 11, 2010

…unless you refuse to pay him because he didn’t fulfill his end of an agreement.

Okay, for starters have you ever heard of Chris Hines? Me neither. Apparently he’s a Canadian Hip Hop promoter and unfortunately for his face he booked Lloyd Banks to perform this past Friday at Club NV in Brantford, Ontario. Well Banks was scheduled to go on at 10pm, but since he truly believes that the early bird gets the worm, he didn’t arrive until 2:30am. To his surprise (and mine as well) nobody decided to wait for over 4 hours to see Lloyd Banks perform his current smash hits “Baby By Me” and “Think About Me“.

What? What are you talkin’ about? Oh shit, those are 50’s songs. Wait…so what in the hell were people payin’ to see Lloyd Banks perform?

Oh well, I guess that’s not important. After seeing the small number of people in attendance, he decided to barely perform one song before abruptly leaving the stage. After this astonishing display of professionalism and his groundbreaking performance, Banks expected to get paid. Chris Hines, for reasons obvious to everybody but Lloyd Banks, decided that he wasn’t going to pay Banks. As a result, Banks and three of his weed carriers decided to go to Hines’ hotel room to resolve the dispute peacefully…

….at some point things got “all the way turnt up” and Hines tried to beat up Lloyd Banks and his three henchman using only his face. Long story short, Banks and his homies are sitting in jail awaiting charges for assault, robbery and forced confinement.

Talk about a dumb ass. I’m sure between bail, lawyer’s fees and a possible civil suit 50’s he’s going to spend waayyy more than Hines owed him.

Side Note: This was pretty funny. No, I’m not referring to Lloyd Banks going to jail or Hines’ face of fury bravely taking on 8 flimsy fists. It’s just that this reminds me of that episode of Family Guy when Brian owed Stewie money…

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First The Fat Boys Break Up…

November 9, 2009

…now everyday I wake up somebody got a problem with Hov. Well by now I’m sure you’re aware that Beanie Sigel has expressed the fact that he’s upset with Jay-Z for a number of reasons. If not, feel free to play catch up and listen to the diss song and the interview.

Beanie Sigel – What You Talkin’ Bout (Jay-Z Diss)

Beanie Sigel’s Interview On Charlamange Tha God’s Radio Show

Usually when two friends, brothers or business partners have a falling out both people tend to have played a role in it. One person usually plays a bigger role than the other, but at the end of the day there are usually things that they both could’ve done differently to prevent their issues. I definitely think that’s the case with this current situation between these two former “friends”. So I’ll take a moment to address where I think both of them went wrong…

Disclaimer
But before I go in, lets get a few things straight. I am a fan of Jay’s music and have been since ’96, back when most people didn’t even know who Shawn Carter was. I bought Reasonable Doubt the week it came out…how many current Jay-Z fans can say that? I said that Jay was one of the best rappers out back when people were only naming 2Pac, Biggie and Nas. Now I just wanted to put that out there before any of you supposed “hard-core” Jay-Z stans try to call me out for hating. Movin on…


The ROC Boys…
First off, there’s Jay-Z, a selfish bastard who’s all about himself and I don’t believe the words friendship, loyalty and family exist in his vocabulary….all in all, he’s the epitome of the modern day American businessman. Look, the man shot his own brother over some gold rings back in the day. If that’s what he’ll do to family for some bullshit ass gold…I’d hate to see what he’s capable of when it comes to millions of dollars and his “friends”. Despite all of that, I don’t think Jay did Beanie Sigel or any of the other former Roc-A-Fella artists wrong to the point where they should be blaming him for their lack of success. But, I do think that Jay is at fault for some of the backlash he’s receiving from Beans.

Then we have Beanie Sigel, who’s a Percocet & Xanax pill poppin’, sizzurp drinkin, weed addicted fuck up who can’t manage to stay out of prison long enough to capitalize off of any of the opportunities given to him. Beans is a goon and the very same things that made his music so appealing and believable are the same things that contributed to his inability to be successful as a businessman and an artist. Ultimately, I feel as though a lot of the things that he’s complaining about in regards to Jay were a direct result of his own immaturity and the street mentality that he was and still is unwilling to loosen his grip on. I believe that he has a reason to be upset with Jay, but not for the things that he’s crying about to the public.

Politics As Usual…
I know a lot people will say “business is business” and most of the disgruntled ex-Roc-A-Fella artists shouldn’t blame Jay for their lack of success. I completely agree with that 100%. My only problem with Jay is that he often gave off the perception, to the public and apparently to his artists, that his relationships with these artists were based on more than business. Roc La Familia anyone? He went out of his way to present these people as friends and damn near family. For that reason and that reason alone, I think a lot of those artist expected Jay go above and beyond for them when shit hit the fan…like family would, or should I say like family is supposed to.

“Honor (honor),
Trust (trust),
Respect (respect)
Devotion (devotion),
Friendship (friendship),
Loyalty(loyalty),
Karma (karma),
Team (team),
Us (us),
ROC(roc),
Silence (silence),
D’evil’s..dang

(c) Beanie Sigel – Intro to “I Can’t Go On This Way”

I truly believe Beanie when he says that this isn’t just about money. Notice I said “just”, because I feel like if Beans was currently successful he wouldn’t be goin’ so hard at Jay. Don’t get me wrong, I think he would still have problems with him, I just think he would be handling them in a different way. If it was just about money I think he’d be talkin’ more about Dame, especially when you consider everything he’s said about Dame in the interviews. Some people say Dame is irrelevant so nobody would care about what he would have to say about him. Obviously Jay garners more attention, but to say nobody would care is dead wrong. Anybody who was a fan during the days of “The ROC” would be interested in hearing the intricate details of Dame’s dirty dealings and how they contributed to the fall of one hip-hop’s most successful and influential dynasties. Anywho, if you’ve followed the ROC from day 1 and you really listen to the “diss” and the interviews you can tell that Beanie Sigel’s feelings are hurt. This isn’t just the run-of-the-mill disgruntled rapper hatin’ because he’s no longer in the spotlight or he’s looking for a handout. Most of this stems from the anger and disappointment of a friend who feels like he’s lost a friend…or better yet, wonderin’ if Jay was ever his friend to begin with.

Unfortunately for Beans, I don’t think he ever really paid attention to the fact that just as Jay was an artist, he was also a CEO and a businessman. With that said, being an executive at a label that you own and being an artist on that very same label never really works out for the other artists on your label. *cough* Diddy *cough* As an artist you tend to build a sense of comradery with your labelmates. Then as an executive you also have to make decisions that are best for your company and this typically involves the fate of your labelmates’ careers. As a result, I feel like there’s a crossroad the you’ll eventually come to and you’ll have to make a tough decision.

“I put friends over business end of the day though,
But when friends, business interests’ they dough,
Ain’t nothing left to say though,
I guess we forgot what we came fo’,”

(c) Jay-Z – “Lost Ones”

Decisions made in favor of the business will more than likely affect your friendships and vice versa. The situation is an inevitable catch-22 because regardless of how mature your labelmates/artists may be, it’s damn near impossible for them to not catch feelings when you make business decisions that negatively affect them. Beans said in the interview with Charlamagne Tha God, he understands that Jay is now in position where hangin’ out with the him isn’t in his best interest. If only he had that level of understanding a couple of years ago, because I don’t think it’s ever been in Jay’s best interest to hang out with Beanie Sigel.

What Ya Life Like…
So when the judge asked Jay-Z if he’d be willing to be responsible for the whereabouts of Beanie Sigel, Jay said “No” and Beans was hurt. WTF?! Isn’t this Roc La Familia? What happened to…

“If every nigga in your clique is rich your clique is rugged,
Nobody would fall cause everyone would be each others crutches”

(c) Jay-Z – “Feelin’ It”

Based on those lyrics Beans probably had no doubt in his mind that Jay was going to “Yes” without any hesitation. Beans is a street dude and he was expecting Jay to act as if he was a street dude and even more, act like he was his guy, his friend, his family and vouch for him. Because of the way Jay presented himself to Beans, the rest of the crew and (through his music) the world, I think most people would’ve initially expected Jay to vouch for Beans at the time.

“So, don’t believe everything your earlobe captures,
It’s mostly backwards, unless it happens to be as accurate as me,
And everything said in song, you happen to see,
Then, actually, believe half of what you see,
None of what you hear, even if it’s spat by me”

(c) Jay-Z – “Ignorant Shit”

I don’t think Jay could’ve made it any clearer. I think Beans was thinkin’ of Shawn Carter the hustler from Marcy Projects with the GS Lexus, the stash box and the .45 on his waist. You know the guy that Jay-Z talks about in his raps? Sorry Beans……off to that 8X12 you go. At that point you weren’t dealing with that guy and to be honest I don’t know if that guy ever really existed….at least to the extent that Jay-Z would like us to believe. Despite everything he rapped about in the booth from his “hustlin’ days” as Shawn, outside of the booth he was Jay-Z the CEO of a record company, part-owner of a clothing line and ultimately a businessman. So in accordance he said “No”. Now, if that scenario had been an interlude on Beanie’s album he would’ve most definitely said “Yes”….too bad for Beans they weren’t in the booth.

If Beanie Sigel and everybody else looked at Jay in the same light as Jimmy Iovine, Lyor Cohen, Russell Simmons or Clive Davis, I don’t think him saying “No” would’ve been an issue. Would you expect any of them to be responsible for the whereabouts of one of their artist who’s a drug addicted felon and a potential flight risk? I didn’t think so…nobody would be sayin’ Lyor Cohen ain’t real or Clive Davis is a snitch. Oh, but I forgot Jay’s from the street, he was a drug kingpin, he has a code that he lives by, he’s real….get the fuck out of here! Maybe if your 16 years old you believe that….hell, when I was 16 I did. In all honesty I think Jay was about as gangsta as your average kid growing up in the projects. The funny thing is that whether or not Jay’s past is fabricated really doesn’t matter at this point in his career. If it was proven today that he was nothing more that a weed carrier for Calvin Kleine and DeHaven while growing up, 99.9% of his fans wouldn’t give a shit. I know I wouldn’t. Just look at Rick Ross, he’s been exposed for being a correctional officer and he’s still selling…..and he doesn’t have half the stans that Jay does. Sorry Beans, I know the street code that Jay rapped about sounded believable and back in the day he might’ve lived by it, but he was no longer in the streets.

Friend Or Foe…
So Jay doesn’t vouch for Beans in court and he doesn’t write or visit him while he’s incarcerated. I think it’s safe to say that based on his actions, that Jay wasn’t Beans’ friend…but that doesn’t make him his foe either. So should Beans be upset with Jay about anything? Yes and No. From Beanie’s perspective him and Jay were crew, best friends….family. I have no doubt in my mind that during the ROC’s prime years, if anything had went down Beans would’ve been the shooter for Jay at any given moment….not the doo-rag model we all know as Memphis Bleek. Which is sad because I think Jay knew that and ran with it. I’m sure in Jay’s mind he felt like him and Beans were cool, but that’s it…..just cool. I don’t think he made it clear to Beanie Sigel or the other artists that Roc-A-Fella records and the whole Roc La Familia thing was strictly business….nothing more, nothing less.

“Read between the lines of ya eyes and ya brows
Ya handshake ain’t matchin’ ya smile,
Unh unh, you ni**as foul,”
(c) Beanie Sigel – “I Can Feel It In The Air”

I think the only thing that Jay-Z’s guilty of is presenting a false sense of family to some of his artists. To Jay, The ROC was basically like a TV sitcom or a soap opera. While the lights were on and the camera was rolling they were all one big family. But as soon the camera’s were off Jay went back to the real world and focused on moving beyond his starring role in a hit television series. For most of the artist on the ROC, they didn’t even know that they were even being filmed. Jay’s scripted show was their reality because while Jay was rapping about the life of hustler, they were still out there living it. Which brings me to my next point…

Wanted (On The Run)…
Beanie Sigel couldn’t let go of the block, the thug mentality or the self-destructive behavior that he rapped about. In and out of jail, on and off of drugs, still out in the streets…Beans was more concerned with being a thug than becoming a successful businessman and rap artist.

“Beans I ain’t tryin to change you – just give you some game,
to make the transition, from the street to the fame”

(c) Jay-Z – “Blueprint (Momma Loves Me)”

The self-destructive attitude/behavior often displayed by underprivileged individuals all across America tends to come from a sense of hopelessness and desperation. Beanie Sigel was put on by Jay “Muthafuckin” Z….any sense of hopelessness or desperation should’ve been thrown out the window right along with his self destructive attitude/behavior. But naw son, fuck that! “You gotta keep it real”. The sad part is that some people actually believe that. But in all honesty, when you’re put in a position like Beans was, what are you keepin’ real? You’re no longer in a position/environment were that mantra or frame of mind is necessary or beneficial.

That’s the problem with a lot of the men today, young and old…everybody wants to be the tough guy. Look, I’m no bitch…far from it, but once you become an adult, a grown man, a husband, a father you have responsibilities and you have to be held accountable for your actions. Beans was put in a position to better his life and his family’s and mainly due to his actions, or lack of, he isn’t where he wants to be in life at this moment. Well…cry me and everybody else a motherfuckin’ river Beanie Sigel.

“Is this what success is all about?
A bunch of niggas actin’ like bitches with big mouths”
(c) Jay-Z – “Success”


I know some rappers that if given the opportunity to work with Jay-Z, they would flip that shit five ways from Sunday (I have no clue where that sayin’ came from, maybe I just made it up). Matter of fact I can think of one person who did…the name Kanye West ring a bell? Not to mention that unlike Beans, Jay didn’t even fuck with Ye’ like that at first. But Ye’ used his affiliation with Jay to make himself…he didn’t wait or expect for Jay to make him. Beanie Sigel needs to dead all this crying about how Jay could’ve done more to ensure his success. Hey, if you can’t blow up as a rapper with Jay-Z backing you, it’s not meant to be….just ask Bleek.

As far as the his other random complaints….

“He wouldn’t let me out of my contract”
It’s a contract…you signed it. Remember it’s business and at this point you should’ve figured out you two weren’t that cool. Remember he didn’t vouch for you to get out of prison? You said it yourself that you realized that he wasn’t your guy at that point. So why did you think he was gonna let you out of a business contract? Not to mention, the only reason you wanted out of the contract was because you weren’t selling and you got an offer from 50 to come over to G-Unit…and we all know that Jay and 50 are BFFs.

“Those two Bentleys weren’t paid off, I had a note close to 5 g’s a month”
I take it the words “No thanks” escaped you at the moment? You should’ve told them “I can’t afford that shit” and went out and bought a fuckin’ Altima.

“The Young Gun’s were gettin’ $1,200 a show while touring with Jay”
I’m sure Jay told them how much they were going to make per show before they went on tour and obviously they agreed to that amount. At the end of the day that’s what managers are for.

Ain’t No Love…
At some point Beanie Sigel thought him and Jay-Z were BFFs. I can see how he might’ve thought that because of some of things that Jay may have said, but actions speak a lot louder. Over the years Jay showed him that their relationship was strictly based on business. While Jay’s lack of concern for a relationship beyond business may have been a disappointment, Beanie Sigel has to remember that Jay was not his father, he was not his brother, he was not part of his crew that he grew up with and he was not his parole officer. Jay-Z was Beanie Sigel’s labelmate and his boss. That’s IT. As for his current situation regarding his career, Beanie Sigel just didn’t handle HIS business. As for Jay…

“I’m not lookin’ at you dudes, I’m lookin’ past ya,
I thought I told you characters I’m not a rapper,

Can I live? I told you in ninety-six,
that I came to take this shit and I did,
handle my biz,
I scramble like Randall with his,
Cunning-ham but the only thing runnin’ is numbers fam,

Jigga held you down six summers 10 albums…damn, where’s the love?”

(c) Jay-Z – “Heart of The City (Ain’t No Love)“

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The New N.E.R.D…

October 19, 2009

…goes by the name Rhea and if I ever meet her, despite the fact that her head looks a little too big for her body, I will try to have sex with her. Okay, just thought I’d get the important stuff out the way, movin’ on…

So by now I’m sure you’ve heard that N.E.R.D. has added a female member to the group. Being that N.E.R.D. is one of my favorite groups, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about the news when I first heard it.

Then I saw her and I thought “Well, adding a female to the group might not be such a bad idea”.

So how in the hell did she end up a member of N.E.R.D.? Well, it’s a pretty short story. Rhea, who’s a Toronto native of Guyanese descent, auditioned for the fellas via Skype, sang “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” and signed with the group shortly afterward. Pharrell recently spoke to MTV about the groups upcoming album, Instant Gratification and how having Rhea in the group contributes to their new sound…

“Musically, we’re just somewhere else [with her]….the music is now very 3-D. It’s something you have to hear. But you’ll see. We’re definitely somewhere else. I want to leave that impact moment for when you purchase your download and you purchase your CD. The music is very three-dimensional. We’re just really excited. We feel like N.E.R.D. has always been the punks of hip-hop and the outcasts of alternative music — just a little different. But this time, we’re taking no prisoners.”

“Now you have this little Tinkerbell that’s just stepped in and has been amazing…it’s made it a fun process. We can go in so many more directions, because we have the vocal support.”

Well, I’m interested to see how this turns out. I just hope they’re not going all Black Eyed Peas on me, in an effort to gain more commercial success. Anyway, here’s the latest song from N.E.R.D., btw it doesn’t feature Rhea…

N.E.R.D. – Soldier Ft. Santigold

Not sure if this is going to be on Instant Gratification, but I wouldn’t be disappointed if it wasn’t.

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This Is It…

October 13, 2009

…is the title of Michael Jackson’s album, which is scheduled to be released on October 27.

The songs are arranged on the album in the same sequence as they appear in the film. The album will also come with a 36-page commemorative booklet featuring exclusive photos of Michael from his last rehearsal. The first single from the album, also called “This Is It“, was released yesterday. The song which features the background vocals from The Jacksons, plays during the closing sequence of the movie.

Michael Jackson – This Is It


Tracklist for the album, Orchestra & Extended Orchestra Versions of “This Is It” and the link to the story regarding Paul Anka’s claim that the song “This Is It” was stolen after the jump.

Disc 01
1. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
2. Jam
3. They Don’t Care About Us
4. Human Nature
5. Smooth Criminal
6. The Way You Make Me Feel
7. Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)
8. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You
9. Thriller
10. Beat It
11. Black Or White
12. Earth Song
13. Billie Jean
14. Man In The Mirror
15. This Is It
16. This Is It (Orchestra Version)

Disc 02
1. She’s Out Of My Life (Demo)
2. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ (Demo)
3. Beat It (Demo)
4. Planet Earth (Poem)

This Is It the movie begins its two-week limited theater run on October 28.

Bonus:
Michael Jackson – This Is It (Orchestra Version)

Michael Jackson – This Is It (Extended Orchestra Version)

To hear the original version of “This Is It” recorded by Safire and read about how Michael stole it head over to Entertainment Weekly.

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Nahom Grymes Is In Desperate Need…

October 13, 2009

…of attention and a new hit song. Unfortunately, I can only help him out with one of those, so here it goes…

You’re probably wonderin’ who in the hell is Nahom Grymes? Well, that’s J. Holiday’s real name. You know, he’s the one-hit wonder who had that song called “Bed“. Remember that song that had those really dumb ass deep lyrics like, “love is war and I’m your soldier”. I just called him by his real name because that’s what they’re going to put on his name tag…

…once he starts working at Wendy’s, so he might as well get used to it. Anyway, in an effort to get some attention, J. Holiday decided to diss Drake by remaking his song “Brand New“. I know you’re thinkin’ what in the hell could he be mad at Drake for? Well a line from the song kind of explains it all…

can’t stand these rap niggas steady tryin’ to sing…tryin’ to take my spot.

Yep. That’s not a typo, apparently Drake is “tryin” to take J. Holiday’s spot. J. Holiday has a spot?!? At this point I think it’s pretty clear that J. Holiday is getting high. Not high like, get a White Owl, roll a blunt high…I’m talking red nose, crusty lips, dirty needle, stealing his momma’s flat screen tv high.

This guy can’t be serious considering the fact that his most recent album, Round 2, which was released back in March sold 55,000 copies in its first week. Drake’s EP, So Far Gone, which was released last month sold 73,000 copies in its first week. So to put things into perspective, Drake sold roughly 18,000 more copies than J. Holiday in their respective first weeks….18,000 more copies of an EP that only had 7 songs on it and out of those 7 songs, 6 were given away for free wayyyy back in February. Not to mention, that if you head over to Billboard’s Top Hip-Hop and R&B Songs and Singles Chart you’ll find Drake on there quite a few times…

#3 “Successful” – Drake Feat. Trey Songz
#9 “Forever” – Drake Feat. Kanye West, Eminem & Lil’ Wayne
#15 “I Invented Sex” – Trey Songz Ft. Drake
#27 “Best I Ever Had” – Drake Ft. Lil’ Wayne
#38 “Every Girl” – Young Money Entertainment
#47 “Im Going In” – Drake Feat. Lil’ Wayne & Young Jeezy

…and that’s out of 50 spots. Btw J. Holiday is nowhere to be found on that chart. So what spot is he referring to?

Hey Nahom, if you had any sense at all you would’ve been tryin’ to work with Drake considering the buzz that he has going right now. But no, you think dissing him is going to work in your favor….good luck with that. Don’t worry though, next time I go to Wendy’s and order a Spicy Chicken sandwich I’ll know that somewhere out there you’re at a Wendy’s…..with a name tag that says Nahom. Oh one more thing, if you’re going to remake somebody’s song and use it to diss them, at least make the song as good, if not better than the original because this shit is horrible…

J. Holiday – Brand New (Drake Diss)

Just in case you don’t have the original version by Drake…
Drake – Brand New

Speaking of Drake, if you want to read about Drake’s upcoming album, Thank Me Later and his first single, “Shut It Down” featuring The-Dream head over to Billboard.com.

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T.I. Checked Into…

May 26, 2009

…a federal prison in Forrest City, Arkansas earlier today to serve his 366 day sentence.

He was about 30 mins late, but I have a feeling he wasn’t in a hurry to get there. Apparently Mr. Harris had a busy weekend, he reportedly got married to Tiny on Friday, performed a farewell concert for 16,000 fans on Sunday and threw a final farewell afterparty.

Bonus:
T.I. Feat. Mary J. Blige – Remember Me
Such an appropriate title….off the upcoming re-release, Paper Trail: Case Closed.

Video of T.I. talking at his farewell concert and info on where to write him if you’re a crazy ass stan and actually care that much you’re a fan after the jump.

Send your letters to:

CLIFFORD J HARRIS
REGISTER NUMBER: 59458-019
FCI FORREST CITY LOWFEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
P.O. BOX 9000
FORREST CITY, AR 72336

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Ain’t Nothing Like A Brooklyn Girl…

May 26, 2009

…with a raspy voice and a right hook.

This past weekend the internet was buzzin’ about this video of Charles Hamilton catchin’ a mouth shot from his ex-girlfriend Briana Latrise. I respect the fact that Charles was man enough to exercise self-control and not lay her ass out. Gettin’ hit like that…it’s just a natural reflex to throw a punch back, but he showed restraint and respect for himself by not putting his hands on a woman (unlike another a rapper). The fact that she could probably beat his ass might’ve had something to do with him not hitting her back. Nonetheless, I respect the way he handled the situation.

Movin’ on, I have to say I’m glad she popped his ass in the mouth, simply because I don’t like him. Hence, I present…

5 Reasons To Punch Charles Hamilton In The Face…

5.) He’s Overrated.
I don’t understand why there’s so much hype surrounding this guy. When it comes to rapping he’s like the smartest dumb kid…he’s a really good average rapper. I mean anytime a person with a record deal drops over 15 mixtapes in the span of a year, has one semi-commercial hit (“Brooklyn Girls“, which I really fux wit) and plans on giving away their first official album for free because they know nobody’s going to buy it…it’s time to move on.

I mean wtf could he possibly have left to say that we haven’t already heard? It really doesn’t matter because to be honest, you can probably rap better than Charles. Even his own fans can go toe-to-toe with him…

4.) He’s Blames Soulja Boy For His Lack of Success.
Last year Charles said that Soulja Boy’s huge success, through a variety of internet marketing techniques, has hindered the success of other up-and-coming artist. Now the way he expresses himself, referring to his use of ‘Sonic The Hedgehog’, is viewed as a gimmick.

“Don’t compare me to somebody who made a great marketing ploy when I’m just living my life regular…it’s because of Soulja Boy that the way I live, the ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ shit that’s dead real to me, is considered a joke,”

When I first read this I thought to myself, either this guy is a complete idiot or a bonafide psychopath. Starting with the notion that he’s a complete idiot. Soulja Boy’s success has absolutely nothing to do with Charles’ success. Fact: people are gonna buy your music or they’re not…it’s that simple. For example, when I was in high school I listened to Master P (don’t judge me, you’ve done things that you’re not particularly proud of too) and I listened to The Pharcyde, two completely different types of music, both rap, both different. I know it’s pretty crazy, the whole idea of free will allows us to not only like, but also purchase more than one type of music.

While Soulja Boy has said some dumb shit in the past, he was dead on with his response to Charles…

“I’d rather take the positive route and not get into beef, and just let you know that it’s not my fault that whatever you got going on ain’t going right. You’re going to have to go back to the drawing board, get the magic marker, X out the ‘Sonic’ and you might want to fuck with ‘Mario.’ If my next album flops, do you think I’m going to be like, ‘Man, it’s Lil Wayne’s fault. It’s T.I.’s fault.’ Nah, nigga, it’s my fault.”

Oh and the ‘Sonic’ thing, it’s considered a joke because no one wants to really believe that a grown ass man takes a video game character that serious. But that ties into the idea that he’s a bonafide psychopath, which I’ll touch on in a minute.

3.) He Wears Stuffed Animals As Accessories.
Just look at the video of him getting punched…he has the Pink Panther wrapped around his right arm. He’s 21 yrs old. Doesn’t anybody else see anything wrong with that? If you don’t, go and find any little boy and ask him to wear a stuffed Pink Panther around his arm for a day without any explanation. One of two things are going to happen:

A. He’ll happily wear it and ask if you’ve seen Beyonce’s latest video for “Ego“. Chances are you asked this little boy…

B. If it’s any boy besides that one, he’ll say ‘Hell No’.

2.) He’s A Furvert.
This is the part where I touch on him being a bonafide psychopath. If you recall, this grown ass man referred to “the ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ shit” as “the way that he lives” and it being “dead real to him“.

Maybe I missed something, but since when did video game characters represent a way of life?

Anyone who’s somewhat familiar with Mr. Hamilton knows of his unusual fascination with ‘Sonic The Hedgehog’. Sonic unwillingly serves as Charles’ unofficial mascot and for him to be a rapper that’s just lame. Look, I played ‘Sonic’ just like every other kid growing up during the SEGA era, but damn…let it go man, just let it go. If he was 12yrs old I’d understand…he’s 21. I mean he likes Sonic so much, I can only assume that he either worships ‘Sonic’ like a God or he wants to have “relations” with him….it’s probably both, which are equally disturbing. That would make him some kind of ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ cult leader/Furvert. Just in case you don’t know what a furvert is…

A Furvert, a portmanteau of the words fur and pervert, is a term for someone who is sexually aroused by the artwork, stories, or similar media of furry animals.

At this point, it should be illegal for him to own or even come in contact with a hedgehog.

1.) He Battles Ex-Girlfriends.
What kind of rapper seriously tries to battle their ex-girlfriend? I mean she said her little Blackberry rap/poem and instead of just brushing it off and and laughing at her, he really tried to get at her. He brought up shit that was wayyyy too personal….hittin’ raw and her gettin’ an abortion are some things he could’ve easily left out. But nope, he wanted to be an asshole and say some obviously hurtful shit…lame.

Btw, shout out to Serena for puttin’ me on to Briana’s blog. Check it out at www.brianalatrise.blogspot.com.

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Kelis’ Milkshake…

May 21, 2009

…doesn’t bring spousal support to the yard.

Last month Kelis filed for a divorce from Nas because of Nas smashing hella groupies on the side “irreconcilable differences”. Well, even though she’s weeks away from giving birth and probably broke as hell…Nas has filed his response to the divorce, and is asking the judge to deny her the spousal support she’s seeking. He even wants her to pay her own lawyer’s fees. Damn…

La la-la la la…warm it up.

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Sham…Wow!…

March 31, 2009

Last month Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow pitchman, was lookin’ to get his sham wowed so he hired a hooker down in Miami Beach. Once they got back to his hotel, he began to kiss her and that’s when she allegedly “bit his tongue and would not let go.”

Since the blood thirsty psycho tongue biting whore wouldn’t let go, he began punching her several times until she released his tongue. Both were arrested for felony battery, but prosecutors dropped the case.

I found this is hilarious for 2 reasons:

1.) He hires a hooker and what’s the 1st thing he wants to do once they get back to his hotel room? Kiss her…on the mouth.

2.) The fact that he was already known as “the ShaWow guy” was bad enough. Now he’ll be known as “the ShamWow guy who damn near got his face bitten off by a rabid hooker.”

To many people it may seem like she was offended by his attempt to kiss her. She was probably thinking “Aww Hell Naw! I don’t know where your mouth has been!!!” I mean what kind of woman does he think she is? Just because she’s a prostitute that doesn’t mean she goes around kissing random strangers?

But, I’ve come to the conclusion that this was a clear case of revenge. Revenge for all of the gullible consumers across the US who have given in to that late night temptation to purchase something from an infomercial.

If you don’t know where I’m going with this, first thing you need to know is what the ShamWow is…


Okay, now we can assume that prostitutes (the good ones) encounter quite a bit of liquid throughout their careers. I think this whore invested in a few ShamWows and they just didn’t live up to the hype. Hence, fate fixed it so that she could run into Mr. Shlomi and….