Last month Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow pitchman, was lookin’ to get his sham wowed so he hired a hooker down in Miami Beach. Once they got back to his hotel, he began to kiss her and that’s when she allegedly “bit his tongue and would not let go.”
Since the blood thirsty psycho tongue biting whore wouldn’t let go, he began punching her several times until she released his tongue. Both were arrested for felony battery, but prosecutors dropped the case.
I found this is hilarious for 2 reasons:
1.) He hires a hooker and what’s the 1st thing he wants to do once they get back to his hotel room? Kiss her…on the mouth.
2.) The fact that he was already known as “the ShaWow guy” was bad enough. Now he’ll be known as “the ShamWow guy who damn near got his face bitten off by a rabid hooker.”
To many people it may seem like she was offended by his attempt to kiss her. She was probably thinking “Aww Hell Naw! I don’t know where your mouth has been!!!” I mean what kind of woman does he think she is? Just because she’s a prostitute that doesn’t mean she goes around kissing random strangers?
But, I’ve come to the conclusion that this was a clear case of revenge. Revenge for all of the gullible consumers across the US who have given in to that late night temptation to purchase something from an infomercial.
If you don’t know where I’m going with this, first thing you need to know is what the ShamWow is…
Okay, now we can assume that prostitutes (the good ones) encounter quite a bit of liquid throughout their careers. I think this whore invested in a few ShamWows and they just didn’t live up to the hype. Hence, fate fixed it so that she could run into Mr. Shlomi and….
Doza said 